It's not fair

Sometimes what you deserve is not what you get, nor is it what you want. It happened to you but no one can tell, you could tell your story but would you be gloating? Keeping it inside is inciting anger, no not anger, anguish maybe. So many other people have the same story but can't tell it because it is not the same story. There is one slight difference. This slight difference affects so many that you realize that your story could have had that very difference. It started exactly how you expected it to and athe same time you knew it should not have lasted as long. When you awoke the next morning there was not enough time to think about what had transpired. Life goes on, but is it a different life now? At least that is what you are trying to determine. Has anything changed? Does time heal? What if time is only a percieved phenomenon? The healing process will go on as long as you dwell on waiting. Cope or forget. Are these two related? The same? Which would be easier? You try to understand that you are solely responsible and the consequences are not as devestating as they should be. That is a ridiculous thought. Wishing for a more devestating sequence of events. Guilt. For all those who experienced that result you think you should have gotten. What you have to do is convince yourself of the reason it did not happen the same way. But you knew that. Knowing does not mean anything though, because your brain has the ability to repress, suppress and bring forth things that should not. All you can think about is what you have been told happens, yet it did not. Not this time.